For reasons that in the mind of a 16 year old, made a lot of sense, I named my business Elizabeth Ervin. It sounded lovely, professional, and it had alliteration. I loved it.
When I made my first website, it was elizabethervinphotography.blogspot.com - a beautifully concise, sexy website name.
The first branding I ever had was a logo that I made from DaFont.com and Brusheezy.com. during a “Digital Marketing and Photoshop” class in high school. I felt really good about it.
See the “brush” from Brusheezy:
Coupled with this typeface,
which went on e v e r y t h i n g .
A watermark went on every image I exported from the years of 2012-2015. RIP those photos.
(my brother, celebrating his 8 year old birthday, 2012).
I’ve been really okay with Elizabeth Ervin - my first and middle name - for quite some time now. Though I didn’t identify with her particularly.
At one point I did have a sexual fantasy of being called “Elizabeth” in bed. I perceived it as the perfect name to be drawn from the weathered voice of a blousy, sweaty, tight trouser fitting man (undoubtably spurred on by Orlando Bloom’s, Will Turner in Pirates of the Caribbean). But no one called me Elizabeth, not my lover, not my parents, nor my oldest friends. In reality, I much prefer to be called Lizzy.
I included “Ervin” in my business name for the main reason being that it sounded nice. The Ervin’s are my mom’s side of my family, and they were a creative bunch - despite being addicts, and city developers.
When I married Chris, Elizabeth Ervin didn’t change. I’d only gone from Elizabeth Ervin W. to Elizabeth Ervin R.
Same, same.
“Lizzy” is the name I’ve always asked to be called, since early elementary school days. Even my family has totally given in to Lizzy. Grandparents included.
We’re getting too far into the naming details now, but you understand. I’m splitting hairs over how you know me, and it feels strange to be writing about it. Drawing attention to something that I clearly think of as highly significant, and in writing about it, realize that you probably think nothing of it. Whatever I tell you to call me, you will, and that will be that.
Despite this, let me continue to explain.
The separation of a business name and a personal name felt, at one point, necessary to me. Like in some way creating a persona around myself as a photographer was less intimidating than introducing Lizzy, me, to the world as a photographer. I’ve thought about this phenomenon is the same context as distancing yourself from writing personally on social media, which I also find challenging. For example: captions for a photo are easier to write with the attitude of my mom writing notes in my childhood scrapbook:
But it’s also not doing anyone a service if I treat my work as something that is ALWAYS EASY! SUPER FUN! NEVER A DULL DAY IN THIS JOB!
I think if we didn’t all think so much about ourselves, then it would be a hell of a lot easier to just say what we mean and what we’re feeling, but the confusion that persists with perception and status, blurs even one’s own understanding of themselves and their message. At least, that’s how I’ve felt about writing in the digital age. (For truly inspired text, and honest captions, you should read Chris’ posts on Bar Rollins. They’ve inspired me in so many ways.)
Back to the name thing. I’ve changed my business title to Lizzy Rollins: a reflection of my actual name, how my friends know me, and how I want to continue this pursuit of making art.
I realize that by calling my business by my own name alludes to being more “known” on the internet, but I’ll admit, I’m still keeping things strictly within my own terms. I prize my person-to-person relationships as being the cornerstone of what holds my identity in place. I will, admittedly, always retain some level of distance from the internet, and how I let people perceive me there. That doesn’t mean I can’t do a little bit more to serve the greater effort of bridging the gap between being completely shallow and wide-open-gaping on social media. You will not see me cry, I guess is what I’m trying to say.
Thank you to my friend Glennon, who was the first to send me an email at lizzy@lizzyrollins.com. that said:
“Hi queen,
Congrats to valuing yourself and your abilities. More of this. So much more.”
I will not let you down Glennon.
I hope that the “Lizzy’s Journal” newsletter, @lizzyrollins Instagram, and yes, even TikTok, can be a place for honesty in the context of my creative process. I hope to explore the big meaningful stuff like “what it means to be an artist rn”, and small insignificant things like “what film stock r u using?”. All for the sake of connecting with people and sharing stories. Wish me luck, and also don’t leave now - we’re just getting started.